Oh my goodness. 

I am absolutely floored by the amount of support I have gotten since my last blog post. Thank you for all of the kind messages, the comments, and every page view (all of which make me feel a lot more popular and a lot cooler than I actually am). It all makes me realize how truly blessed I am, and I am grateful for every single one of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you! 

On a related note, many of you have expressed sympathy and have asked me how I am dealing with Kory's death while I am away--the answer changes from time to time, but I think my heart is doing much better here than I would expect. I still think about Kory every day, and that hurt is still there. I know this is a wound that will never completely disappear; still, God has shown me the power of His love every single day. Thank you again for every prayer and every bit of support for my family. I love you all. 

Here in España, we have been doing a lot of training for our upcoming travels (in less than a month! Where has the time gone?! Seriously! This is insanity, I tell you). This includes everything from discussing creative evangelism strategies (I'm breaking out the napkin doodles, y'all!), learning about 
spiritual gifts, dancing and singing along to children's songs, and practicing a puppet show. That's right. A PUPPET SHOW. It's awesome. If I come back home and have amazing arm muscles, it's because I've been holding up a puppet for about seven minutes straight twice a week. 

It's a lot harder than it sounds, okay? 

To those of you wondering what the heck a puppet show and kid songs have anything to do with missionary work, the answer is simple: they're fun, creative ways to teach kids about Jesus. It's probably going to be my favorite part of the whole trip! Admittedly, some of the songs we sing aren't about God, but they're still super awesome. And yes, I am going to come home and be really annoying cool and sing these songs all the time.

As part of our travel team training, we were able to visit another church in a nearby town. Since it was our first time working with a new church, it was a little nerve-wracking, but everyone was so welcoming and I had a ton of fun. We sang a couple of worship songs as a team, and a few of us shared our testimonies. This time, we were able to share in English and have our leaders translate, but from now on, we'll have to rely on our own Spanish capabilities. That's a little intimidating, but it's all part of the experience, right? Luckily, we are able to do a lot of translating and practicing beforehand...I think I'm going to need it! 

In the midst of all this training, we've had time for some adventure, too. On Saturday, we visited the Castle of San Felipe (Castillo de San Felipe), and it was amazing! Wandering around an old castle in Spain? On one of the sunniest days we've had all month? By the WATER?! That's basically everything I love. 

Needless to say, I'd go back in a heartbeat. 


I've been pretty tired and scatter-brained lately, so I hope this entry gave you all a better idea of what life here is like--I suppose I could go into even more detail, but it's almost my bedtime and I have a busy week ahead of me. For now, I'll leave you with my new favorite song...

And yes, we do that dance. Are you jealous yet? You should be. 

¡Hola amigos! 

Well, I know that I've been a really horrible blogger, but we've been pretty busy here in España and I've been exhausted (physically and emotionally, but I'll get to that later), which doesn't really put me in a super bloggity-bloggin' kind of mood, if you know what I mean. You probably don't, because I just made that word up. But I digress.

Our team is currently in Narón, Spain, a small city outside of A Coruña. We will be here until mid-March, and then we will hit the road and travel to different cities to work with different churches and teach people about Jesus. Until then, we are working with the local church (really, it is the only church in Narón), Agua Viva. This includes going attending Sunday services, as well as the children, teen, and youth programs, and helping with the English class. We've also been making sure our house (Casa OM, or the OM House) is in livable condition...we've been doing a lot of cleaning and there's usually a small home improvement project that our leaders are working on. Cleaning isn't always the most fun thing in the universe, but it is our home for the next month or so--it's just another way to serve others and to serve God, so in a weird way, I like taking care of it. 

Twice a week, we help at La Puerta ("The Door"), a thrift shop connected to Agua Viva and our ministry. At La Puerta, people can buy clothing, but they can also get free food. Spain is in a huge economic crisis, so many people cannot even afford to buy food. At La Puerta, people can come in and grab something to eat--it also helps us build relationships with people. It's been really cool to see familiar faces, even if all I can say in Spanish is, "Hello, how are you?" 

Since everyone here speaks Spanish, meeting people at the church has been pretty intimidating. My conversations with people at church are pretty much limited to introducing myself and asking for their name. GO ME. Hopefully by the end of the trip, I'll be able to have more interesting conversations. We're all taking Spanish classes and I already understand a lot more than I used to. GO ME AGAIN. Learning another language (or trying to remember one) is difficult, but I've learned that God's love is so much more powerful than any language barrier I will ever face. I live with people from all over the world, and hearing my teammates pray in Spanish, English, German, Korean, Faroese, and Malay has been amazing. I don't understand every word--in some cases, I don't understand any word--but I know God does. 

As jet-lagged and nervous as I was during the first few days, I love life in Spain. I love learning Spanish, I love my team, and I love the people. I never thought I'd be glad to graduate early and be a missionary, but here I am.

I do love life here, but these first two weeks have not been especially easy for me. On my third day here, I found out that my cousin Kory died. This is part of the reason I've been avoiding blogging--I don't really want to talk about it, but it is a part of my experience here, and I feel like I need to.

Everyone I meet knows that my cousins are all very special to me; they do not feel like distant relatives I see every few years as much as they feel like siblings. I remember playing with Kory when I was little, and seeing how happy he always was to be around our family. So many people call him brother and best friend--his death was unexpected, and, understandably, shocked everyone who loves him.

Being away from my family and friends has never been so hard. I have fallen in love with Spain, but there have definitely been days where I just wanted to go home. There have been days when I felt like everything was so unfair. Why Kory? Why now? Why do things like this ever happen?

I'll never have the answer to these questions. Even though my heart is still broken, God has shown me so much love through it all. My teammates have never hesitated to pray for me, bring me chocolate and tea, or just let me cry. I am fortunate enough to have international phone service and Internet access,  so I can talk to my family whenever I want. I have the best family, the best friends, and the best boyfriend ever, and they've all been wonderful through it all.

Some days have been easier than others. To put it bluntly, some days have really sucked.

Even so, I know I'd regret it if I went home. I think I can find peace here because I feel much better doing than I would being feeling helpless at home.

Clinging to God in the face of suffering is not always easy. I've been mad and confused and I've wondered why I even bother. But in the end, I still believe God is good.

I've read this quote from The Shack so many times this week, and it comforts me because I know it's true:

"Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I needed it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors." 

We all love Kory so much. I say 'love' in the present tense, because the end of his life does not mean we suddenly stopped.

With everything that has happened, I don't think I have ever been so physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted in my entire life. It's all certainly taken its toll, but I'm still glad I am here. As strange as it sounds, I know it's okay to find happiness in the midst of suffering. 

For the next few weeks, we'll be doing a lot of training--this will be nice, because to be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing. Before I know it, we'll be in our van, heading to different towns around the country, livin' la vida loca. Or something like that.

I'm really excited because we'll be working with a lot of kids. Kids are the best. Rumor has it we will learn how to make balloon animals. If you know how bad I am at crafts, you know how funny that is. It's almost as funny as me learning how to cook. 

So. We'll see how that goes. 

¡Hasta luego!