¡Hola amigos! 

Well, I know that I've been a really horrible blogger, but we've been pretty busy here in España and I've been exhausted (physically and emotionally, but I'll get to that later), which doesn't really put me in a super bloggity-bloggin' kind of mood, if you know what I mean. You probably don't, because I just made that word up. But I digress.

Our team is currently in Narón, Spain, a small city outside of A Coruña. We will be here until mid-March, and then we will hit the road and travel to different cities to work with different churches and teach people about Jesus. Until then, we are working with the local church (really, it is the only church in Narón), Agua Viva. This includes going attending Sunday services, as well as the children, teen, and youth programs, and helping with the English class. We've also been making sure our house (Casa OM, or the OM House) is in livable condition...we've been doing a lot of cleaning and there's usually a small home improvement project that our leaders are working on. Cleaning isn't always the most fun thing in the universe, but it is our home for the next month or so--it's just another way to serve others and to serve God, so in a weird way, I like taking care of it. 

Twice a week, we help at La Puerta ("The Door"), a thrift shop connected to Agua Viva and our ministry. At La Puerta, people can buy clothing, but they can also get free food. Spain is in a huge economic crisis, so many people cannot even afford to buy food. At La Puerta, people can come in and grab something to eat--it also helps us build relationships with people. It's been really cool to see familiar faces, even if all I can say in Spanish is, "Hello, how are you?" 

Since everyone here speaks Spanish, meeting people at the church has been pretty intimidating. My conversations with people at church are pretty much limited to introducing myself and asking for their name. GO ME. Hopefully by the end of the trip, I'll be able to have more interesting conversations. We're all taking Spanish classes and I already understand a lot more than I used to. GO ME AGAIN. Learning another language (or trying to remember one) is difficult, but I've learned that God's love is so much more powerful than any language barrier I will ever face. I live with people from all over the world, and hearing my teammates pray in Spanish, English, German, Korean, Faroese, and Malay has been amazing. I don't understand every word--in some cases, I don't understand any word--but I know God does. 

As jet-lagged and nervous as I was during the first few days, I love life in Spain. I love learning Spanish, I love my team, and I love the people. I never thought I'd be glad to graduate early and be a missionary, but here I am.

I do love life here, but these first two weeks have not been especially easy for me. On my third day here, I found out that my cousin Kory died. This is part of the reason I've been avoiding blogging--I don't really want to talk about it, but it is a part of my experience here, and I feel like I need to.

Everyone I meet knows that my cousins are all very special to me; they do not feel like distant relatives I see every few years as much as they feel like siblings. I remember playing with Kory when I was little, and seeing how happy he always was to be around our family. So many people call him brother and best friend--his death was unexpected, and, understandably, shocked everyone who loves him.

Being away from my family and friends has never been so hard. I have fallen in love with Spain, but there have definitely been days where I just wanted to go home. There have been days when I felt like everything was so unfair. Why Kory? Why now? Why do things like this ever happen?

I'll never have the answer to these questions. Even though my heart is still broken, God has shown me so much love through it all. My teammates have never hesitated to pray for me, bring me chocolate and tea, or just let me cry. I am fortunate enough to have international phone service and Internet access,  so I can talk to my family whenever I want. I have the best family, the best friends, and the best boyfriend ever, and they've all been wonderful through it all.

Some days have been easier than others. To put it bluntly, some days have really sucked.

Even so, I know I'd regret it if I went home. I think I can find peace here because I feel much better doing than I would being feeling helpless at home.

Clinging to God in the face of suffering is not always easy. I've been mad and confused and I've wondered why I even bother. But in the end, I still believe God is good.

I've read this quote from The Shack so many times this week, and it comforts me because I know it's true:

"Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I needed it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors." 

We all love Kory so much. I say 'love' in the present tense, because the end of his life does not mean we suddenly stopped.

With everything that has happened, I don't think I have ever been so physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted in my entire life. It's all certainly taken its toll, but I'm still glad I am here. As strange as it sounds, I know it's okay to find happiness in the midst of suffering. 

For the next few weeks, we'll be doing a lot of training--this will be nice, because to be honest, I have no idea what I'm doing. Before I know it, we'll be in our van, heading to different towns around the country, livin' la vida loca. Or something like that.

I'm really excited because we'll be working with a lot of kids. Kids are the best. Rumor has it we will learn how to make balloon animals. If you know how bad I am at crafts, you know how funny that is. It's almost as funny as me learning how to cook. 

So. We'll see how that goes. 

¡Hasta luego!